Should I tell?

Is it a good idea to tell other people you have HIV?

Even though you may feel you are the only person to be faced with this decision, many other people with HIV have been through something similar before. THT can help you with advice about disclosing your HIV status (as it's often called) and suggest ways to do this for the different people in your life:

• Family and friends
• Sexual partners
• Dentists, doctors and insurers
• Employers
• Immigration and government officials.

We've written these pages using many people’s thoughts and experiences. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will suggest some things you might want to think about.

Disclosure

Disclosure is a complex topic. Telling an employer is very different from telling a parent, and different again from telling a friend. Talking to a sexual partner is nothing like any of the above.

There are lots of fears and myths associated with HIV. People’s reactions will depend on what they know, or think they know, about the subject. You might find telling people stressful, frightening or embarrassing.

On the other hand, telling the right person can be a very positive experience. It can help you to get support when you most need it, and it can sometimes make relationships stronger.

When telling is a good idea

Telling people can be a good idea because:

• you can get love and support to help you deal with things
• you can tell people about issues that are important to you
• you don’t have the effort of hiding your status
• you can get appropriate health care and services
• your sexual partners will be able to make informed decisions.

When disclosure is difficult

Telling people may be difficult because:

• you may get unkind or hurtful reactions
• you may suffer discrimination or rejection
• you may be asked intrusive questions about your health and feelings
• the people you tell may be upset, and you may need to reassure and support them.

Getting started

First and foremost, remember that you only need to take one step at a time. And we'll be here throughout to give you support and advice.