Sexual acts

Throughout history people have explored different ways to have sexual pleasure. There are far too many sexual activities for us to list them all here. Nonetheless most sexual acts fall into a few broad categories and it's worth us talking through them.

You'll often find that people use lots of slang words to talk about sex and it might seem that everyone knows what they mean but you. Don't worry, in most cases these words will probably turn out to mean one of the activities listed below.

Whatever your sexuality you can pick and choose sexual acts to suite your taste and your partners as well. The only limitation is that caused by you or your partners gender. The rumours that people of certain sexuality have only certain kinds of sex are often just that.

People often assume that gay men always have anal sex, heterosexuals always have vaginal sex, and lesbians never have `proper' penetrative sex. It might be the case that a gay couple don't have anal sex, a heterosexual couple does, and a lesbian couple have penetrative sex without using a penis. Having sex can involve lots of different things, and is not just about penetration; there are many other things to do, including kissing and touching, stroking, oral sex and mutual masturbation.

The key to enjoying sex is making sure that you feel comfortable and confident about what you are doing, and don’t feel rushed or pressured into doing things you aren’t sure about.

Kissing

Also known as french kissing and snogging.

When people talk about kissing, they don’t generally mean the peck on the cheek they get from their mum. Instead they mean kissing using tongues, where your mouth is open and your tongue meets with the other person’s. Kissing can feel really good, and as with most things, practice makes perfect, so don’t worry if you don’t get it exactly right first time.

Mutual masturbation

Also known as tossing off and fingering.

A big part of having sex is exploring each other’s bodies, and in particular each other’s genitals. Mutual masturbation is where your partner stimulates your genitals with their hands, sometimes to the point of orgasm. For a man this would involve his partner touching his testicles (balls) and stroking his penis. For a woman this could involve her partner touching the vulva, clitoris or inserting fingers inside the vagina. Lots of people also enjoy their partner touching or inserting fingers inside their anus (bum), as there are lots of nerve endings in this area.

Fellatio

Also known as a blow job, oral sex or giving head.

Going down on a man involves lapping, licking and sucking the penis and testicles, usually with the man’s penis penetrating his partner’s mouth.

Anilingus

Also known as rimming.

Rimming is kissing, licking and exploring your partner’s anus (bum) with you mouth and tongue. Lots of people enjoy rimming because there are lots of sensitive nerve-endings around the anus.

Cunnilingus

Also known as oral sex, or giving head.

Going down on a woman involves lapping, licking and sucking the vulva, clitoris and vagina, sometimes to the point of orgasm

Vaginal sex

Also known as fucking or shagging.

When we talk about vaginal sex, we usually mean sex where a man puts his erect penis inside a woman’s vagina, but it can also refer to a woman being penetrated with a dildo (sex toy). Vaginal sex is the most common way to become pregnant.

Anal sex

Also known as fucking, buggery and sodomy.

When we talk about anal sex, we usually mean sex where a man puts his erect penis inside a woman or a man’s anus (bum), but it can also refer to a person being penetrated anally with a dildo (sex toy).