Telling your child about HIV

If your child is HIV positive they may have already asked you about their hospital appointments and medicine. When they start to ask you about this, the doctors and nurses looking after your child will be able to give you some ideas about what to say.

When a child is very young, you don't need to go into much detail, you could say that the doctor needs to check their blood to make sure it is working properly or that the medicine they take will keep them strong and healthy.

As children get older they will ask more questions and you can gradually introduce more information. Most experts think you should mention HIV itself when a child is 10-12, this gives them a chance to get used to their diagnosis and get the information they need.

If you leave it too late they may feel angry at not being told what is going on and as they get older and start to explore their sexuality they will need to know how to prevent onward transmission.

If you are telling your child that you or someone else in the family has HIV you can follow a similar approach of increasing the amount of information you give them over time. Your child may feel worried about your health and some additional support can reassure them.

There are organisations which can help you with disclosure and support your child afterwards. Body and Soul is a national organisation which supports parents, children and teenagers who have HIV or who are affected by it.

If your child doesn't yet know that they or someone in the family has HIV they can still go to Body and Soul.

There are also local organisations around the country and most hospitals and social services departments have a worker who can support you through disclosing to a child.

You may also find the HIV & children booklet by NAM useful.