Positive dating

If you're anything like me, you find it easy enough to go out and get casual sex. Gaydar, Grindr and the like have made it much easier to hook up with other guys – and now you don't even have to leave the comfort on your own home. But what I've found is much more difficult to come by is real intimacy – in other words, it's not that easy to find anything more than a shag!

While it's true that finding a potential boyfriend can be difficult for all gay guys, it's fraught with particular problems for those of us who are positive. How and when do you disclose your status? Would you feel more comfortable dating someone who has the same status as you? And when you do end up in bed together, how do you broach the subject of safer sex?

Personally, when I've been looking online, I've found sharing my status explicitly from the outset (on my profile) has worked best. I realise this puts off some of my potential dates, but at least it gets it out of the way and if he has a problem with it, he can walk on by there and then. I have been pleasantly surprised by most of the reactions I've had. There are also specific websites for positive dating such as HIV Match, Positive Singles and Love Positive.

Social groups are a great place to meet other guys – as friends as well as potential boyfriends. The Plus Friends social group in London organises regular events, including a fun monthly drinks night and GMFA has a list of social groups, including some specifically for positive men.

Do you have any views on positive dating and dating websites? Why not join the discussion in the myHIV community forum and share your tips?