Relationships

For some young people a relationship is how they describe their situation when they are being intimate with someone. For some being in a 'relationship' is how they describe the seriousness of their commitment and others view a relationship as a step up from someone being your Facebook friend.

A relationship can be anything from 'friends with benefits', seeing someone, living with someone, ‘baby mother, baby father’, plus many more descriptions. The ultimate relationship is viewed by many as making the commitment of marriage or civil partnership.

Recently we asked some young people in a relationship to choose one word to describe how it made them feel. 'Nice', 'great', 'confusing', 'scary', 'loving', 'fun' were just some of the words shared, so it was a real mixed bag of thoughts and probably an accurate portrayal of relationships.

'Scary' was used by one young woman who said she felt scared about sharing her HIV status; she said that only when she was 'real serious' would she do this. Advice from adults PPC work with, suggests that feeling sure of yourself first, and knowing how you feel about your status, helps when thinking about whether or when to share your HIV status.

If you have done this before, think about how you felt. What was good and not so good in that experience? Reflecting (thinking back) on this may help you learn more and could help to make it a different or better experience this time around.

This knowledge is crucial to knowing when and what to share, and this applies to all confidential matters. Feeling ready is important so don't feel pressured, remember that once you tell someone your HIV status, you can’t un-tell them.

On the other hand, you may experience pressure from friends or feel that it's necessary to start a relationship as everyone else is doing it. Do remember it's also okay not to be in a relationship - being single is often underrated!

Take your time, have fun, don’t feel rushed into making a commitment, and ensure you communicate your thoughts and feelings, including sharing thoughts and feelings with family and friends. You may be surprised at what you learn.

And lastly bear in mind that all relationships are unique, and each one is challenging as well as rewarding.