Positive Dating

Leese, a regular contributor to our Community forums, shares her experiences in the world of dating.

When I was asked to write a piece on dating my first thought was "Great I can get out of this one, I haven't had a date in three years!" But that wasn't a good enough excuse so here I am writing about my (non) dating experiences!

When I was diagnosed I was already in a relationship, but two years later I found myself single and checking out the online dating world. I was excited to see that I wasn’t alone in looking for love. I can assure you ladies that there are plenty of men out there looking to connect.

I have chatted online with some really nice guys, a couple that have remained friends even though one or other of us had decided that we weren't a match. I've also met up with a one or two guys for coffee, but so far, no connection.

I think the downside to online dating, and probably the reason why I haven't had a "real" date in a long time, is that it's easy to find fault in someone in their writing. For example, I can't tell you the amount of men that use the word "ain't". Now I'm not sure that they actually use it when they speak, but if I need to give myself an excuse to not meet for a date then that's a great one! Not that I'd tell them that's the reason though, because usually it isn't…

My main reason for not meeting is because I tell myself that I need to lose some weight before we meet up. Funny, I've been saying that for three years now and all I've done is put on the pounds thinking about it!

I guess what I'm saying is that I need to stop making excuses, get out there, date and have some fun. Dating doesn't stop with our diagnosis, it only stops because we allow it to.

Online dating is a great way to meet people but please be safe. Don't give out personal information, always meet in a public place and tell a friend where you're going. Another tip I was given is to have a separate mobile phone/sim card so that you get to know a person without having to give your main mobile number or landline.

Do you have any views on positive dating and dating websites? Why not join the discussion in the myHIV Community forum and share your tips?

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