December 2010

As I stood outside a local supermarket in the heart of the gay village, with my bucket collecting for THT, I was surprised at people’s reactions to the red ribbon brigade. In my naivety I thought that I would be inundated with donations by the vast numbers of (gay) shoppers who were to pass through the doors.

A respectable amount was indeed raised although this was almost solely down to the straights, older gay men, gay woman and little old ladies. One sweet octogenarian literally tipped her purse of loose change out into the bucket which brought a tear to my eye.

I was genuinely overcome by the generosity of these people who were all willing to have a red ribbon pinned to their clothing and disappear into the sunset of St. James’ Street demonstrating their support to the cause.

However, I was disappointed by the huge number of younger gay guys who totally ignored us. I was completely blanked by people I actually know from the scene. Why was this?

Was it because they were afraid of associating themselves with a red ribbon for fear of being seen as HIV+? Or was it a case of denial?

If it’s ignored therefore it can’t be real and so not an issue that concerns them. I’m truly bemused by it.

Either way it was a shocking reminder that there is still some way to go with tackling the stigma and prejudice around HIV that apparently seems to be more endemic within our own ‘gay community’ than with Joe and Joan public.

Brighton’s WAD service and candle lit vigil was very emotional.

While I don’t know anyone who has lost their lives to the virus there were clearly many people present who had and I found the whole experience utterly humbling.

It reminded me of how fortunate I am to have such incredible care and support from the team here in Brighton at the Lawson Unit.

Coincidentally the next day I had an appointment to have my bloods done. In the past, I used to dread this however these days I strangely look forward to my checkups as I know I will be treated with warmth, respect and friendliness for which I count my blessings.

I’ve already totally embraced Christmas this year, making up for twelve months ago when I was dumped just before the festive period by the man I thought I would be building a future with. The subsequent melt down I suffered meant Christmas was cancelled.

Christmas can be camp-tastically fabulous but for some it can be excruciatingly difficult.

So far, my biggest dilemma has been whether to put my red or silver Kylie doll on top of the tree.

A bottle of Rioja and six mince pies later and red Kylie kicked silver Kylie’s cute little ass.

Here’s wishing you all the Christmas you want and hoping that 2011 is the year for you!
xxx

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