March 2011

I have to say that in my view we look at porn for many reasons stereotypically it is considered that reaching for the top shelf in the newsagents is porn but it takes many different guises now for instance the WWW offers something for everyones taste. Even if we check out a profile on a gay dating site it possibly carries photo albums of potential recreational sex partners so what does porn mean? no doubt the focus group will have a clear idea in time.

As a matter of interest I was not eligible for this focus group because I am over the maximum age of the specific categories which seems odd as many of the service users of THT and the wider gay community are over 55 years old and more importantly have active sex lives ..so I find myself sitting here reflecting on my month since the last diary.

There is so much going on in the wider world making my existence appear insignificant by comparison, is that arrogant? not really just putting everything into perspective.

My health is pretty good given the winter season has dragged on. The usual aches and pains of creaking bones plague me but with my own coping mechanism of meditation, combined with an active and reasonably healthy lifestyle all contribute to my wellbeing I feel.

How are those around me? well my voluntary work at THT continues to amaze and inspire me. The men I get to meet have life stories which all reflect a fantastic journey and are always humbling.

The lounge groups are flourishing with the commencement of a new group this month with a wonderful diverse section of the community with ages from early twenties to late sixties ..strands of our development within society highlight the differences in age and social groups but we all have at least one thing in common specifically living with HIV.

Now I would like to talk some more about age and living with the virus.

Are we an ageist community? we all know that this is so irrespective of our status so combining the two is quite profound because in a room of strangers the age ranges are so great and would not generally happen in any other part of the wider society or gay community. Does this put a burden on the lounge group? well to be honest I’m not sure but it certainly does underline the differences between the generations but we share so many life habits including porn which is back to where I started.

Anxiety and stress management, how do we all cope with our status and day to day life? are we constantly aware of disclosure and stigma? maybe so if we don’t think it applies we may still subconsciously worry. It is a known medically recognised fact that if we have the courage to be open about our status and are proud it keeps us healthier because it relieves stress and worry and importantly helps to make us happy and more confident.

For me being a mindful person and very self aware has helped me to cope with the last 18 years of my status, I search for the guidance through personal conflict which I find through my mindfulness.

Where next? as always my other outside interests take up most of my time as do my partner and dogs, if you have read any of my previous entries it is clear that our days are spent creating an organic food provision and habitat to encourage bio diversity .We live in an area of outstanding natural beauty but still within easy striking distance of Brighton and London.

The friendships developed in Brighton are some of the strongest in my life which is great.

Yes, we do participate in the use of porn and our sex life is very active!

The rubber stuffers are working very hard in the adjacent room which is making me feel guilty for not taking part so more next month Guys and keep well and happy.

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