September 2010

In 1994 I took ill with Aids related pneumonia and found out shortly after that as my cd4 was so low CMV (which is  is a common herpes virus) took hold.

Then it was generally thought of the final stage of the virus before death, yet here I am in 2010 writing this on line diary.

The new regime of meds became available which saved my life but no one knew for how long. In 1999 my partner David died of an AIDS related form of cancer which lasted for some agonising months ending in his death in October the same year aged 37.

I was alone having lost my soul mate, lover and very best friend but one thing apart from fantastic support from my friends and THT,  was my rescue dog a little terrier called Sonny and he was literally my sunshine as my father died four months after David. 

I found that self pity soon alienates you from those around who care and inevitably I became introverted for about a year. I then started going back to the gym and literally going out as a sex addict.

Infact, I found that people were willing to pay for sex so my life span off in a direction I lost control of. The next tragedy in my life was the death of my mother in 2002 which brought me right back down to somewhere very grounded.

It became essential for me to give something back so I volunteered to work at Positive Nation and Crusaid which was really enjoyable but I was aware that my sight was getting worse.

In 2003 I met my partner Tony and I would say this wouldn’t I but he has been the most influential person on my life for many years. He is honest, thoughtful and a man of great knowledge who has remained negative. We never practice unsafe sex together or with others.

His commitment to me was put to the test in 2004 when I had a stroke and lost what remained of my sight so he now lives with a blind man 13 years his senior but his care is never ending. Of course we have issues like most people.

Having come to terms with my sight loss and the impact on those around me it was important to set a goal and 3 years ago I started college to gain a diploma in counselling which I achieved this year.

So what is next? To all intents and purposes I am doing well. My cd4 is in excess of 1400 and the virus has been undetectable for over 4 years now.

I must say the dance floor is now well out of reach to many aches and pains of middle age ...but I have found that radio broadcasting has now been thrust into my life and WOW its fab.

So this is my introduction. My hope is that you find the instalments of what is happening in my journey with HIV insightful and enjoyable over the coming months.

Thank you for reading this and sticking with it!

Richard

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