April 2012

I have led an active life and admit to finding it difficult to relax sometimes. But in the last few years, I have been very mindful of the fact that I am getting on a bit and need to cut myself some slack. I have been proactive in reducing my work load, I don’t travel as much (hopefully saving the environment at the same time) and thanks to the recession, I am doing less socializing. All of these things whether intentional or forced, helped to give me more time to rest. For a while, I felt great and was happy with myself because I thought that finally, I had found the balance that had eluded me all my life!

But for the last couple of months, I have not only found myself lacking in energy but motivation too. I began to examine whether anything in my life had changed in my day to day life! I couldn’t point to anything significant! The weather had changed and it was not that cold anymore, so I should be feeling great because I hate the cold!

Then the weather changed again.

The more I tried to analyse everything the more frustrated I got. But I was determined to at least try to resolve the situation before I had a discussion with my doctor! Somehow, I could already imagine how that visit was going to go! The doctor would start by asking me – Remind me again how old you are? Although I am not especially bothered about my age, I feel that everything that is not right about me is now being put down to aging!

But I remembered that I was supporting and concerned about a friend who is having some mental issues. Every time I have a conversation with them or visit, I am more upset that before I engaged them! If I was really honest with myself, this situation was affecting me more than I was letting on. At one level, I am worried about what will eventually happen to my friend, at another level, I keep thinking what if that was me? Either scenario, scares me! Sometimes we go into automatic mode when we have to be there for others. But supporting others can be physically and mentally exhausting. I am still not convinced this is the sole source of my fatigue!

But I am tired of feeling permanently tired and need to find some solutions. There are at least two areas in my life I can think of that I could improve on. I am convinced that if I work on them I will get the lift that I need and reverse the fatigue that I feel. My eating habits could use a review! I do not live at KFC or McDonald’s, but lets say there is no method to my eating. I eat what I like, mostly meat, salad is something I refer to as grass and hardly ever touch it! I think it is time scrutinize my diet and start eating a bit healthy as well as foods that will give me that energy boost I crave.

Lastly, it may also be time to look at some regular exercise! I have never seen the inside of a gym, but I also clear that I should not set myself goals I know I won’t be able to achieve. I will start off with walking short distances in the mornings and maybe in the evenings, especially as the weather gradually changes from winter misery to spring - summer! I might eventually progress to jogging! The gym is a long way off, if ever. Wish me luck!