Friends

Whether to tell your friends about your HIV diagnosis will depend upon your relationship with them. Often, confiding in a good friend can be an invaluable source of support.

Friends can be as close as your family, or even closer. If you haven’t shared much personal information with friends in the past you might not want to tell them about your HIV status. But if there is someone who has previously been helpful, this person could be supportive now. Is there someone who accepts and loves you, who respects your privacy and is a good listener as well as being practical, sensible and reliable?

It is important to think about how they might react. You may have friends who are already knowledgeable about HIV and others who know less; so it is important to be prepared for a reaction you were not expecting.

Deciding which friends to tell might also depend upon culture. In some cultures HIV is something which is hard to talk about because of the fears people have about it or the myths they believe.

In addition, friends from any culture may have incorrect information about HIV and treat you differently or unkindly. If you think your friend might react like this, it may be easier for you to get support from an HIV organisation or a peer support group.

Sometimes people become upset and have exaggerated worries about what your HIV diagnosis means for your health. They may also be concerned about the risk of transmission to them. So it can be a good idea to have leaflets to hand to give to them so they feel reassured, such as Understanding HIV published by Terrence Higgins Trust or The Basics range published by NAM.

It is also important to think about the timing of your disclosure. Someone may be hurt to find out about your HIV diagnosis after other people have been told but in other cases it will do no harm for them to find out later.