Some people find condoms tricky to use. Sometimes they go wrong. Here's some help for when things aren't going right.
Many of us use condoms with no problems. Issues we may have with them can often be overcome. The more often we use condoms, the less likely they are to break or come off. It can help if a man practises putting them on alone when masturbating.
Putting them on
Some men find rolling a condom over their erection is uncomfortable. If using a larger size condom doesn't help, one solution might be unrolling the condom a little first, then putting it over the erect penis the same way you would put a sock over a foot, being careful not to get air trapped under the condom. Although unrolling and stretching might weaken the condom, for some men this method at least makes it possible to put a condom on.
Sensation
Condoms are extremely thin, so any loss of sensation should be very small. The thinner the condom, the more sensation; the right size is also important. Some condoms are available with ribbed, raised and shaped surfaces designed to increase sensation to both partners. An advantage of female condoms is the way they don’t reduce sensation for the man in the way male condoms can do.
Erections
If putting on a condom interferes with erections, a man could try gripping the base of his penis before putting it on; this traps the blood, helping to keep him hard. A cock-ring has the same effect but for longer. Asking a partner to put the condom on can also help. A larger size condom might also restrict an erection less, as does using a female condom.
Allergy
For people allergic to latex (it makes their skin red or itchy), both male and female condoms are available that are made from non-latex materials. These materials also don’t have that rubbery smell.
Interruption
Having to stop during sex to look for a condom can be a passion killer. Have them in places where they’ll be easy to get hold of. Keeping condoms in your pockets, wallet, handbag, by the bedside, etc shows you’re taking responsibility for yourself and your sexual partner.
Negotiating
You may have condoms but find it difficult to use them (or ask someone else to use them). It can be tricky introducing a condom into the situation, which is why it’s always better to bring the subject up long before sex starts. A partner may be relieved that you’ve mentioned it.
What if your partner says: 'Asking for a condom means you think I’ve got an infection or can’t be trusted'?
Tell them that you’d like to use a condom to protect their health as well as yours, as it’s possible either of you could have an infection without realising.
If someone says that because you want to use condoms it must mean you have an infection, remind them that carrying and using condoms is a sign that a person is taking responsibility for their own health and their partner’s.
No-one has the right to make you have sex without a condom if you don’t want to. If you feel pressured in any way to have sex you don’t want, just leave.
When condoms break
If you're having rougher or longer sex it could be that a condom will split. Obviously this could put you or your partner at risk of unwanted pregnancy, HIV or another STI. You could take emergency contraception to reduce the risk of pregnancy or PEP to reduce the risk of becoming HIV positive - but you need to act fast.