Discussing healthy, safe sex for trans men means recognising that trans men can have partners of every gender and a variety of body types. Your sexual preferences, if you are sexual, may include being a receptive partner in anal, oral or vaginal sex. Equally, you may enjoy being a penetrative partner in those situations.
You may be submissive or dominant, or be able to switch between the two. Your ideal may be a heavy bondage session or simply affectionate cuddling. The key thing is that the sex is healthy, safe and what you want and are comfortable with.
You may encounter some preconceptions when negotiating the sex you want – for example, that all trans men like women, that all trans men want to receive or give anal sex or that no trans men are comfortable using their vagina, if they have one. Whether or not any of these are true for you, aiming to practise good consent (keeping sexual activity consensual and respectful of your limits and preferences) means that your sex will be safer and more likely to meet your expectations. All of this means that you're more likely to enjoy it.
Being aware of the preconceptions mentioned, discuss things with your partner beforehand to ensure that you both understand what you’d like to do and what is off-limits. This doesn’t have to be overly formal but it can be fun, eg: ‘What I really enjoy is…’, ‘I don’t like to... but I do want to…’, ‘I don’t want to try that now but would you like to try…?’ etc.
It’s absolutely fine to call a halt to things if you stop enjoying them. Anyone who doesn’t respect your request is not respecting you and may be committing a sexual offence. You might use a ‘safe word’ – a word or phrase that instantly calls a halt to things, commonly used in the bondage (BDSM) community.
Gender dysphoria can make intimacy difficult, so making sure your partner will be sensitive to your needs is essential.
If your partner doesn't respect your wishes or practise good consent, this may be abusive. Even if you don't feel that ‘abusive’ is the correct term, if the way they interact with you sexually makes you upset or uncomfortable, you can access support and advice from LGBT charity Galop.